Say something about gay babies.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
