So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
