I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
