Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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