I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
