I can't breathe out the right side of my face
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
