Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
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