she smelled like a LAN party
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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