so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
