So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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