the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
