just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
