just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
