I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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