Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
i dont even know how to be here
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
