I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
