I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Randomize
