his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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