i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
