I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
