I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
