Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
