come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
