If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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