we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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