Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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