i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
If I had your ass I would rule the world
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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