Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
