yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
