i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Randomize
