At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
