yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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