Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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