Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
