kristin has been a bad kristin
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
At least life still wants to fuck me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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