Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
