I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
