This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
