I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
