Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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