and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
