I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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