youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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