His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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