I want to make a zoo with you.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
