I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
