Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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