he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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