So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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