Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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