Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
