Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
