Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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