nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I need to calm my uterus...
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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