I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
