Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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