AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
